30 May 2008 - Something new every time

Gerrard never fails to amuse us. Previously, he would smile widely when entertained and lets out a loud laugh once in a while. This month, he is able to chuckle. Whenever he does that, we can't help but laugh along with him coz it is so contagious. Wendy managed to capture a short video on his chuckling. That's my mum's voice in the background and she was simply saying "Ah... Puu....Tehhhh!" This meaningless phrase caused Gerrard to be so tickled! I guess it is not what we say but the way we say it that entertains him so.

This second clip was taken during Gerrard's weekend stay at our house. For some reason, I can't seem to rotate the clip so it's harder on your eyes while viewing. Again, Gerrard is entertained by ad-hoc words exclaimed by Derek. It started with different states in Japan... Osaka, Narita, Tokyo.... until even "Kopi-O" makes him laugh!

The first time I heard the phrase "Laughter is the best medicine" was from a copy of Readers' Digest when I was about 12 years old. My cousin used to stay with us at the time and I would flip through his monthly copies. The section refers to the jokes section which was easier to read and some short stories/jokes were pretty funny. All along I used to think that the phrase was just a very apt title for the session but what happened recently made me look at things from another view.

Things had been pretty rough at work recently and my plate is really full. My portfolio has increased and I guess it is a good sign as it gives me progress and exposure to more things. However, with this enhanced job scope, it translated into longer working hours. I try my best to visit Gerrard everyday but sometimes time does not permit me to do so. There were a few occasions where by the time I finished my work and reached Tampines, it is past his bedtime. Another time was when I had to attend a department outing and couldn't bring him back on Friday night. Derek's side is about the same as well with his work piled up everyday. I do feel guilty when I am held back by all these.

There was one day when I had a bad headache. People who know me well would know that I cannot bear the pain of a headache; I will pop a Panadol almost immediately. That day, I ran out of Panadol and I was busy rushing something out at work that I had no time to go down and buy. I told myself to hang in there even though I know it will cause me to be irritable and true enough, it got worse by the time I got off work. My head was simply hammering away. I was grouchy throughout dinner and the impending workload kept nagging me at the back of my mind. After dinner, I visited Gerrard to play with him as usual and on the way home, it suddenly dawned on my that my head is no longer throbbing. It seemed to have miraculously cured by itself! The first thought that came to mind was the exact phrase "Laughter is the best medicine" I used to be pretty cynical about things but perhaps this can be true after all. 快乐其实很简单。

Making faces

Trying to turn

Bath time

Seeing him everyday lifts my mood. It seems to set everything into perspective and I am finally experiencing what my colleague told me previously about rushing home just to be with his kids and the joy is indescribable. Although I feel drained after work, being with Gerrard sets my adrenaline pumping again. It is as if you feel like everything may be weighing you down and you can't take it anymore but yet you still can push on just a little bit on.

Playing on his yao-lan

I didn't know that becoming a parent means stacking today's unread newspaper on to yesterday's unread newspaper. Sometimes we eat a meal as if we are trying to create a Guiness record for finishing a meal in the shortest time- standing up! There are still times of exasperations and feeling inadequate somehow. But I tell myself that as Gerrard is learning day by day, we are learning to be parents as well. There are times when we fall down but I am sure that before we know it, the day will come where we look back at our silly mistakes/complaints and laugh about it.

Gerrard is 4 months old today and had his routine visit to the PD. He took his 2nd dosage of 5-in-1 jab and the Rotavirus medication. Dr Ho commented that he is growing well - what a relief as I was concerned about his reduced milk intake. This is just the feeling we have everytime we visit the gynae when I was pregnant. The magic words that the baby is growing well will set our hearts at ease. No wonder people say that you start worrying from the day you find out your pregnancy until the day your child grows old!

Looking intensely at my hp when I showed him pictures of himself

In line with the traditional Chinese customs for 4 months old, we let Gerrard have a teenny weeny lick of a ..... DRUMSTICK! He was staring in awe at the drumstick when we brought it to his face and he looked so curious when tasting it!

Thanks for coming into my life little one!

19 May 2008- DIY Baby Art

Have been wanting to do this for the longest time but time never seems to be enough. Finally got down to doing it during the Vesak day holiday. The instructions on the package said 1. This task is best completed with at least 2 adults and 2. To do this when baby is asleep or in a good mood. With the help of Yi-Yi, we figured that Gerrard is in the best mood in the morning after his feed.

The first time, we tried by pressing his foot against the clay while he was laying down. It ended up slanted so we had to re-knead and roll the clay.

My mum reached home in time just before I lowered Gerrard and she helped to press down his feet to make a lasting print.

What a fun but straining time! Now we gotta wait for it to dry before framing it. The instructions stated 10 hours to dry but it took us almost 2 weeks for it to dry real thoroughly.

Tada- It's completed!

Gerrard's first photo to join ours on top of the shoe cabinet =)

11 May 2008 - A Mother's Heart

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know the bond between
a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

3 May 2008 - I am good, thank you

Thanks to my friends for their encouragement and concerns about my previous post. Reading your messages on my tagboard brought upon a warm feeling in my heart, especially since these are people whom I have not even met but whom are generous enough to share their experiences with me. Thanks gals... you know who you are ;)

I went back to work on 21 April 2008. Was greeted with a warm welcome by my colleagues. Many commented that I did not look like I had just given birth and I take that as a compliment. I guess I am lucky that most of the weight I put on during pregnancy went to Gerrard, the waterbag, the placenta etc.. Perhaps it was also because I inherited my mum's skinny genes coz my mum's figure is exactly like this as well. Along with the warm welcome, I was also greeted with a huge present- a big PILE of workload that is. Work that was left before I left, together with work that had accumulated during my absence. Which explains why I have not been logging on much. Enough said.

Recently, I bought a new toy for Gerrard- Ocean Wonders Kick & Crawl Aquarium by Fisher Price. It has 3 main functions- starting out as a soft play quilt, with activity toys for the baby to grasp, bat and kick. The second stage is tummy time, where one end can be folded up to form a wedge and then attach the toys to encourage reaching and pushing up. The third stage is to reconfigure the quilt into a crawl-through play space. When I saw it, I couldn't resist it because it looks like great fun!

Gerrard's verdict: Sometimes he does get fascinated by the music from the activity toy. However, his legs are still not long enough to kick the ball so I placed the ball in front instead of the back.

Gerrard turned 3 months old a few days ago and had his 5-in-1 jab and first dose of Rotavirus. Although he didn't develop any fever, I think he looked a bit SIAN, a bit unlike his usual active self. After a few days, he is well again :) Ironically, I was the one who fell sick. I had severe blocked nose, throat infection and fever. I was so sick yesterday that I couldn't even get out of bed and I was not able to get near Gerrard in case I pass on anything to him.

I love to pinch his cheeks!

The other day, a colleague chatted with me on the way home. He is in his mid-40s, a father of 4. He shared with me that in the past, when his kids were still very young (babies), every day no matter how tired he feels after work, seeing their faces upon reaching home makes him forget about all his stress and problems. And there will be this strong urge in his mind.. that he hopes to work more overtime so as to earn more money and buy things for his kids. He said that is the best part of his life. Now, his kids are grown up and sometimes, when he wish to spend more time with them, they prefer their friends' company instead. I felt a fuzzy feeling in my heart during that conversation. Was it a reminder for me to be patient? Was it an advice for me to keep in mind?