2 August 2011- Living the life of a full time mummy

It has been 4 months since I last posted and my last post on 28 Mar doesn't even count as a decent post as I remember I posted it while lying on the bed at 2am after I have finished my work and looking at Gerrard while he slept. For the hard work I have put in for the last 4 months, I was granted 3 weeks of leave. 3 whopping weeks.. the last I experienced this was in 2006 when I was still in my previous line of work where we get to rest more than 1 week after we had worked our butts off the past 3 months.

I set out hoping to achieve A LOT during my break, thinking that I will go shopping, catch movies, read books, manicures, playing new pieces on my piano, learning to cook (yes, even that), revamp my house, play lots of engaging activites with Gerrard and the list goes on. However, it turned out that I am experiencing the life of a full time mummy. I wanted to put full time "housewife" initially but as I didn't learn to cook at all, I can't be considered a housewife right? This period feels abit like my maternity leave, where I am at home all the time, looking after Gerrard, with my maid doing the cleaning up and my parents doing the cooking. It may seem great that I have so many people helping but I am already struggling. I feel so so tired, even more tired than I was working. I think it has something to do with age and I cannot catch up with Gerrard's enthusiasm and action! And it doesn't help that now he is in the "Terrific Three" stage where he is so active, understands everything except instructions on "No" and "Cannot". Everyday, I am almost yelling "No, don't do that" or "Cannot touch that", "Cannot climb" etc. He will only show a flicker of acknowledgement at my yellings but yet with determined nonchalence.

Gerrard has started to not wear diapers to his Kids Discovery programme at Zoophonics. He is already toilet-trained at home but as there isn't toilet facilities within the school, the teacher would have to bring him to the public toilet which is about 50m away. However, since his diaper is always extremely full after class because his teacher sometimes forgets to change for him during the break time, we decided to let him try out. I kept encouraging him to tell the teacher if he needs to go toilet but being the worrisome me, I was still very concerned, below are the extent of my worrying:

1. I really don't like the public toilet coz it doesn't have toilet paper and there is only one child cubicle. As I am working most of the time, I seldom get the chance to bring him to school nor assess the public toilet "situation". One day, as I brought him to the toilet before his class, I saw the cleaner outside the toilet. He was a man in his mid-forties and he was smoking. I was about to complain when I thought, who can I complain to other than my parents & my husband? Who will care about it since there is nothing much I can do as it is a public toilet right? I thought it was very inconsiderate for him to be smoking while that toilet is being used by young school children. I told myself to calm down and take it in my stride. A bit of cigarette smell should not linger too long by the time Gerrard uses it.

2. Another day before class when we went to that toilet, I saw that the floor outside had a puddle of water. It looks like it had spilled while someone was washing the floor but did not mop it up properly. Guess what, my immediate reaction is to take out tissues from my bag to WIPE THE FLOOR CLEAN so that Gerrard will not step on the puddle of water when he comes out to toilet later. I had to mentally tell myself to "stop it, you crazy woman" because even if I can clean the floor once, how can I clean the floor everyday and everywhere that my son goes??

Breathe Irene, breathe...